Conversational habits

1. Frame any interaction in the context of improv’s golden rule. No matter what, your response is “Yes, and…”

2. Never be afraid to ask. You’re underestimating people’s desire to be helpful.

Five senses

taste

We joke that were we ever to lose you in a foreign country, we’d know exactly where to look first.

“Excuse me, where’s a good place to get a bowl of noodle soup?”

Remember the time we took you to Chez Nous for your birthday and you insisted the meal was lovely and you were so full you couldn’t eat another bite, and then I caught you boiling a pot of water at one in the morning to make ramen?

smell

Wandering the aisles of Walgreens, you cleared the shelves of lavender soap. Later, you tucked the bars among the folds of freshly laundered towels.

see

Laugh lines, rippling outward from your eyes, though I can’t always tell where they end and the worry wrinkles begin.

hear

ass-per-RAY-gus

struh-BEAR-ree

Because what’s the fun of all sounding like Merriam-Webster pronunciation guides?

Because you gave up the expectation of slipping seamlessly in and out of conversation so that we could show the College Board we know the difference between a cabal and a coterie.

And you’re still my favorite Taboo partner.

touch

A rib-squeezing, leaves no question how much she loves you kind of hug.

Dear laundromat black hole,

It started with a few socks here and there. Maybe you thought I wouldn’t notice, at least for awhile, maybe you thought I wouldn’t care. Both fair assessments, though I do miss the right half of my fuzzy purple pair now that winter’s here.

I can’t blame the socks too much for deserting. Consigned to cover one of our stinkiest body parts, afforded few opportunities in the spotlight of someone’s overall ensemble, and scorned by a renegade few as “feet prison guards,” socks have it tough. So I’m okay with the idea of them being transported to a better place, maybe some crazy sock party in an alternate universe.

Then there was the whole pillow case incident. Pretty bold laundromat black hole, pretty bold. You’re lucky I only use one pillow and sheet sets come with two cases. Still, I kept quiet.

But now that you’ve progressed to, um, more personal items of clothing, I feel obliged to speak up. You must not understand how long it takes a less well-endowed person like myself to find a properly fitting version of some of these wardrobe fundamentals.

I’m starting to suspect that the Buddha statues and fresh oranges put out by the owners aren’t any sort of religious offering, but rather an attempt to appease you. What’s your price? A different brand of detergent? A longer rinse cycle? I’m just asking for a temporary truce for the holidays, please? At least until I have time to replenish my closet.

Sincerely,

Partially Clothed